Shrek 2': the messed up scenes!
by Rakumei
Summary: The outtakes from the movie, just lean back and enjoy!
1. The messed up scenes!

**A/N: Look everybody a 'Shrek 2' fic! **

**Disclaimer: 'Sherk 2' belongs to DreamWorks.**

**'Shrek 2': the messed up scenes!**

**Scene Take 1**

"…because he was the bravest," said Prince Charming, and put off his helmet and untied his hairnet, "and the most handsome…" he shook his head so that all could see how marvelous his hair was.

But he gave one shake too many and his hair…slipped off to the ground.

Charming put hands to his bald scalp, "My beautiful hair!" he cried in horror.

"Cut!" shouted the director, "Go tighten your wig, boy!" he said to the weeping man.

(A/N: in actual life, the actor who did Prince Charming is bald, heh heh)

--

**Scene Take 2**

"Donkey!" said an annoyed Shrek, who accidentally dropped his wife.

He got down assisting her.

"I know! I know! Alone! I'm goin', I'm goin'," but he opened the doort,"but what do you want me to tell those other guys?"

Shrek and Fiona looked at horror at the amount of fan people on there door step, all with camera and whatnot.

"Cut!" shouted again the director, who is known as Director, "will someone please remove those people!" he commanded.

The troll bodyguards were more then happy to oblige.

--

**Scene Take 3**

"..And I wanna go there and there and there and oh! There too!" said Donkey, looking all around what Far Far Away had to offer.

"You drank coffee this morning, haven't you?" Shrek dryly asked at looking at the donkey's excitement.

"Cut!" Director bellowed,"Dokey! Not sight-seeing only after the scene! Now read your lines properly!"

"OK!"

--

**Scene Take 4**

"He endures blistering winds and scorching desert!" shouted the Fairy Godmother, "he climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower," by now she was at full swing,"# $! #!"

"Cut!" shouted the director, "Miss Godmother, we're trying to do an all-family movie, not an R-rated one!"

--

**A/N: that's it for the first chapter!, yeah, short, but next one will be longer!**

**Join us next time for…**

**Audience: **'Shrek 2': the messed up scenes!

**Please review!**


	2. More messed up scenes!

**A/N: Look everybody , a second chapter! **

**Disclaimer: 'Sherk 2' belongs to DreamWorks.**

**'Shrek 2': the messed up scenes!**

**The Poison Apple scene**

"Uh, excuse me, I'm looking for the ugly stepsister?" said King Harold uncertainly.

The woman behind the bar turned around and it was…

"Princess Cinderella?! What are you doing here?!" cried in surprise the King.

"Doris tricked me!" said the pretty girl, and from the shadows came an evil cackle.

"Cut!" shouted the director, "Doris, come out!" he yelled at the dark corner and to Cinderella he said, "It's Ok, Cindy, you can go."

Cinderella happily walked away, while Doris grumpily went behind the bar.

--

**The Forest scene**

"Ha-ha!" called out Puss in Boots, "fear me, if you dare!" and he hissed.

"We fear, alright." Said Shrek in a grave tone.

"Yeah." Said Donkey.

Then they looked at each other and burst laughing on the ground.

"Cut!" cried the desperate director.

Puss put back his sword in its scabbard, "Senor Director, if you need me to do _real_ acting, I'll be in my tent." And walked away.

"Why me?" the director asked no one in particular.

--

**The Forest scene 2**

"Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from…Zoro!" said a Spanish man with black clothing and a mask.

"Huh?!" was the confused respond of the ogre and donkey.

"Cut!" shouted Director, "who _are_ you?" he asked the man.

"Zoro!" he answered proudly.

"Get the hell out of this set!" Director yelled, and the troll bodyguards kicked away the Spanish…literally.

"Let's do it again!" the director barked.

--

**The taking the potion scene**

Donkey was in a Spiderman outfit designed for him.

"My Donkey senses are tingling all over!" he declares before laughing along with Shrek and Puss.

"Cut!" cried the director, "Donkey! Stop fooling around!" he scolded.

"OK!"

--

**The Warehouse scene**

"Donkey?" said human Shrek,"you're a…"

"A stallion, baby!" said proudly horse Donkey, "look what I can do!"

And he ran in circles around himself, inevitably falling, "oh, I'm seeing double…" he swayed, grinning idiotically...

"Cut!" shouted Director for what seemed the 29th time today.

--

**The take away clothes scene**

"Thank you Gentlemen! One day I will repay you unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget!" said Shrek for the new clothes him 'barrowed' from the noblemen.

Donkey reread up and threw down Puss, and rode away with Shrek.

Puss, being thrown for the 5th time today, started cussing in Spanish, instead of only muttering angrily in Spanish about Donkey.

"Cut!" Shouted quickly the director, "Puss! Keep it clean!"

."All right, Senor Director," bowed politely Puss

--

**A/N: next up, chapter 3!**

**Director: **When my mother told me to be a doctor, I should've listened!

**OK…anyway, please review!**


	3. Even more messed up scenes

**A/N: Look its chapter 3!**

**Disclaimer: 'Sherk 2' belongs to DreamWorks.**

**'Shrek 2': the messed up scenes!**

**The Dungeon scene**

Donkey whirled back and forward,for howfar his bounds can move.

He finally said,"Hey, this is sorta fun!", Shrek and Puss shook their heads.

"Cut!" the director shouted.

--

**The Dungeon scene 2**

After Donkey and Shrek said their lines properly, there was Puss's turn.

But he wasn't there.

"Cut!" said Director, "Puss!" he shouted at the corner where the cat was encircled with a bunch of the girls on the set.

"You can flirt later, now come on!"

"Si, Senor Director! Coming!" he said, and he winked the girls.

--

**The Dungeon scene 3**

"Excuse me?" a muffled voice said.

"What? Puss!" Shrek scolded the cat and he spit out Blind Mouse No. 1.

"Sorry, but a cat is a cat," Puss chuckled and a minute later he burped and a single blond wing came out.

"The Emperor's songbird!" one of the camera men shouted.

"Cut! Puss, don't eat the crew!"

--

**The breaking into the castle scene**

Gingy was on top of his creation, "No!"

But instead of a low voice, it was a very creaky voice, "Be good…"

"Eh? What?!" Gingy jumped to shore at the sight of a monster in the water and not his Mongo.

"Cut!" Director shouted, "All right," he turned to the film crew, "who invited E.T. without permission?"

--

**The breaking into the castle scene 2**

Puss shouted to Shrek,"Go! Go! Your lady needs you!"

He turned to the on coming guards, lowered his hat and said, "My name is Puss in Boots, you killed my father, prepare to die."

"Cut!" the director shouted, "What the heck, Puss?!"

"Sorry, always wanted to say that." Puss chuckled.

The director sighed, "Let's do it again!"

--

**A/N: that's it for this chapter!**

**Please review!**


	4. The end

**A/N: chapter 4!**

**Disclaimer: 'Sherk 2' belongs to DreamWorks.**

**'Shrek 2': the messed up scenes!**

**The ball fight scene**

Big Bad Wolf (or BBW, if you like) jumped in front of Shrek, "I'll huff and I'll puff…"

"Just get on with it!" Fairy Godmother said.

"Cut!"

--

**The ball scene**

"You're that man today more than you ever were, warts all." And Queen Lillian kissed the frog and he turned back to the king.

"Cut! You're _not_ supposed to kiss him!"

"But he's my husband!"

--

**The ball scene 2**

"I must…not cry…you cannot make me cry!" Puss said but he and Donkey cried like there was no tomorrow anyway.

"Cut!" The frustrated Director yelled.

"Sorry! It's just so emotional!" Donkey cried.

"You know Spanish are emotional…" Puss stated.

--

**The end**

**(aka the party)**

"OK! I'll call you and…" Gingy realized he's on while talking to the airy Tinkerbell, "What, where, eh?!"

"Cut! Gingy! Tink! No flirting during shoots!" The Director stated again.

Both went to their place on the piano.

--

**The end (aka after the party)**

"Let's call one Shrek and this Fiona and this one Donkey Jr.…" Donkey was talking to his wife, Dragon, and bother were surrounded by their "little mutant babies".

"Cut! You can name them _after_ the shoot!"

Donkey didn't listen and started singing, "I'm a dad! I'm a dad!"

The Director smacked his forehead, "Oh, boy…"

--

**A/N: this concludes "Shrek 2; the messed up scenes"!**

**Now here are 2 options:**

**A. I'll write an epilogue and it will be the next chapter.**

**B. This is the end and I'll let it stay like this.**

**Just review and choose your option.**


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